Isaac Goes Beserk

When I called Augustus today, I could hear violent sobbing in the background.  He asked me to come over because Isaac was having a breakdown.  

When I got there, I saw Isaac and Augustus in the basement playing blind video games and Isaac was not doing well. 

 Isaac is losing his eye, the only one he has left. He has to have his eye removed so that he can be cancer-free.  When his girlfriend, Monica, found out she broke up with him because apparently she can't deal with having a blind boyfriend. You might think that Isaac would be devastated because he was going to be blind, but all he could talk about was Monica.

 “Pain demands to be felt,” Augustus said, which was a line from An Imperial Affliction! Isaac was very upset but he kept playing the video game and bawling. Then he went berserk and started kicking things until Augustus sort of encouraged him to start destroying all of Gus’s basketball trophies. I guess it helped get his anger and sadness out, and Augustus didn’t mind.

Okay? Okay

It’s been a week since Augustus called me!  We talked about Imperial Affliction. Then he dropped a bombshell on me. He had somehow managed to email Peter Van Houten and he gave me the email address!

 We talked about everything from books to Gus’ ex-girlfriend, Caroline Mathers, who died of cancer. I almost felt like he was there in my room with me, but in a way it was better, like I was not in my room and he was not in his, but instead we were together in some invisible and tenuous third space.  

Then we kept saying “okay” to each other and somehow it has become our word. It's kind of like how Monica and Isaac would say "always" to each other.  But always just seemed inherently ridiculous. Since you won't always be there, because at some point you'll be dead, or in traffic, or in love with someone else.  But okay seemed just right for us.  

Gus’s Genie Wish

You won’t believe it! Van Houten has responded to my email and he has invited Gus and me to Amsterdam, to talk with him about An Imperial Affliction.  I didn’t think we could go because with all the medical bills and stuff, we can’t afford to. It occurred to me that the reason my parents had no money was me. I'd sapped the family savings with Phalanxifor copays, and Mom couldn't work because she had taken on the full-time profession of Hovering Over Me.  

But Augustus showed up in the driveway with a bouquet of orange flowers and we went on a little picnic with a bunch of orange foods.  I knew he was up to something, but then he finally spilled the beans. 

He told me he hadn’t used his Genie wish from the Genie Foundation, an organization that helps sick kids get one wish, and that he was going to use it to take us both to Amsterdam to meet Van Houten. I can’t believe it!  I’m going to Amsterdam with Gus!!

My Lungs Suck at Being Lungs

A week ago I woke up with this horrible pain in the center of my head.  I thought I might have a brain tumor or something.   

My parents were helpless to do anything about the pain so they rushed me into the car and I passed out on the way to the hospital.  I don’t have a brain tumor, it was just that my lungs had a bunch of fluid in them and they have had to be drained.  My head hurt because it wasn’t getting enough oxygen.  

They had me hooked up to this machine called the BiPAP which basically took control of my breathing away from me, ... I kept thinking that it sounded like a dragon breathing in time with me, like I had this pet dragon who was cuddled up next to me and cared enough about me to time his breaths to mine. 

So I spent six days in the hospital before they’d let me finally go home.  But Augustus was there in the waiting room every day until they finally let him see me. I didn’t want him to see me like that, totally not attractive.  But he looked at me, in that Augustus way and he told me he’d missed me.  

Amsterdam, here I come!

I can’t believe we were able to pull off this trip to Amsterdam, thanks to the wish-granting genies.  It is an amazing cancer perk! Dad gave me a sentimental goodbye just before mom and I picked up Augustus from his house.  
We get onto the plane after a lot awkward airport checkpoints and security.  Augustus and I watch the movie 300 and talked during most of the flight.  

Then out of the blue, he tells me, " I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things.  I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed an that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth will ever have, and I am in love with you."